QUOTE
“ I don’t care if you see another guy’s package! Because once we’re married…*lays down the iron hand*…that’s it. You get what you signed up for and no more. ”
— my brother, to his fiancee, during one of the more entertaining conversations to which I have ever bore witness
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“wow, she’s easy to please” - miims

I went into 315 today, and it looked like this.

Saddest moment ever.

What made it better?

That’s right.  Worst movie of all time, but this cereal is where it’s at.  It even turns the milk pink.

CHAT

Excerpts from "Ridiculous Night In The Lobby"

  • Stephanie: What is the term for having a lot of balls literally?
  • me: Unnatural?
  • Willis: Polyball Syndrome?
  • Stephanie: Testicularly advantaged?
  • me: No, that wouldn't be an advantage because it would make it hard to sit, I think.
  • Willis: Yeah, if they were the size of large apples...
  • Just for you williboi. We will miss you.
  • (also, later in the evening...)
  • Stephanie: We'll get him an ankle man bracelet.
  • me: Let's make him pierce his ear.
CHAT

Final DDG (#8), in honor of double math test day

  • Willis: I have just been in here so long.
  • me: I know, yeah you have, I've been in here so long and I haven't even been in here that long.
  • Stephanie: woops woops woops woops woops woops...
CHAT

DDG #7

  • me: Okay, I don't wanna put Connor or Winston down because like, a lot of freshmen are in there...for CTOPS, I mean.
  • Stephanie: What? You mean like every freshman who goes here?...And then they leave?!
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happy birthday, miims

this is not a good picture.  nor a recent one, obvi.

today we celebrate the day that woman on the left gave birth to that woman on the right, who would then proceed to give birth to that snitch in the middle 34 years later.

factoid: miims was born in hawaii, where may 1st is lei day.  grandmiims got a lei from the hospital people, presumably after the delivery.  i’ll bet that sure kept her mind off the fact that she had just pushed a baby out of her chonch for the sixth time.  (did they even have epidurals back then?)

anyways.  here’s to my wonderful miims, who honestly doesn’t mean to send silly text messages and who knows way too much about me.

(brittany’s mom looks like a puppy dog here.  we don’t know why this happened.  they aren’t even really friends.  this was a very awkward photo.)

QUOTE
“ I just pulled off a piece of my sneaker.” (five minutes later) “Now I’ve got this little piece of shoe dingle-danglin’ off my shoe. ”
— Stephanie, DDG #6
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also, the bus called…

…he wants one not to preemptively throw one Jenni Tesh under it alone

also, my ears are calling.  they think they’re infected.

QUOTE
“ I had two ideas while I was in the bathroom. One: I think I look gay today. ”
— Stephanie, DDG#5
CHAT

DDG #4 (punctuated as spoken)

  • me: I think it's funny how your lab report says "Partner: Madison."
  • Stephanie: You know what's funnier her name's not even Madison.